BON APPETIT by Thien Marshall Thach
Spotlight on Dody ties Al who is passed out, onto an ARMCHAIR with DUCT TAPE. She cracks an AMMONIA TUBE under Al's nostrils.
Al slowly regains his consciousness. Dody pulls out a REVOLVER on her back and inserts a BULLET. Randomly she spins the cylinder.
She begins to execute the Russian Roulette style. Pointing the muzzle on Al's foot.
DODY
Who is it?
AL
I told you, Dod. I'm seeing no
women.
DODY
One...
AL
Dod, please. It doesn't have to be
this way.
DODY
Two...
AL
How about my Porsche?
DODY
Three...
AL
Come on, Dody. Just let me go. My
Porsche is yours! Dody squeezes the trigger. Snap! Al's body jerks up. 1 of 12
DODY
Oh, you're lucky. You little dog.
She randomly spins the cylinder again, then points it on Al's knee.
DODY (CONT'D)
Who is it? Who is the bitch?
AL
Come on, Dody. You know me. I'm not
seeing any women. You've got to believe me.
DODY
One...
AL
Please! You've got to believe me. I
swear I'm not seeing any women. Squeezing the muzzle harder on his kneecap.
DODY
Two!
AL
Come on, please...
DODY
Three!
She squeezes the trigger. Snap!
DODY
Oh, you're lucky again, you pity
little dog. Dody turns around and spins the cylinder. This time she moves the muzzle to his front hip.
DODY
Huh... It's gonna hurt.
2 of 12
AL
Please, honey. You can have
everything you want. Please don't do this.
DODY
One...
AL
Please..
DODY
Two...
AL
Please, honey. You've got to believe
me. Please! Please! Please!
DODY
Three...
Snap!
DODY
Oops! You're lucky again. You
fucking dog. Dody spins the cylinder again. This time she points the muzzle on his shoulder blade.
DODY
Ohhh...It's gonna shatter the shit
out of you.
AL
Please, Dody.
DODY
Who is she? One...Two...
Thr..r...r...
AL
No...Dod, you got to believe me.
Please Dod. 3 of 12
DODY
Three!
Snap! Dody begins to grow impatient.
DODY
You fucking lucky!
This time she moves the muzzle to his temporal area.
DODY
Are you ready? We will see this time you’ll be lucky again. One...two...
AL
Honey. I just can't.
DODY
Al. This is your last chance. One...two.. thr...r...
AL
Alright! Alright!
DODY
Say it! Who's the bitch?
AL
It is... I... I can't!
Dody pulls the trigger.
SNAP!
AL
Alright. It is...
Dody pulls the trigger again.
SNAP!
DODY
Fuck! You fucking lucky bitch.
AL
I can't Dod.
DODY
Say it! Say it loud! Who's the fucking bitch?
AL
I can't.
DODY
Three...
DODY is about to pull the trigger.
AL
K! I admit it! I'm seeing someone...
DODY
Does she have a name?
AL
It is...
DODY
I'm listening.
AL
It is... I can't!
AL
Please Dod. I can't.
DODY
Who's the bitch? Last chance! One...two...thr...r...
AL
It is... It is....Ryan. K!
DODY
What? Did I hear you right? Did you Ryan? Are you seeing a dude?
Al desperately nods.
DODY
Ryan? Ryan who?
AL
I can't!
DODY
Say it!
AL
You're not ready... for it.
DODY
I'm so ready. Say it! Say it now! Ryan who?
AL
Ryan... I...can't!
DODY
One...two...thrrrr...r
AL
It's...Ryan... your father. K!
DODY
My father! Fuck!
Dody violently smacks the revolver on Al's head.
AL
I'm sorry, Dod. I am sorry.
DODY
Are you sorry?
AL
I can't help it, Dod. It just happened.
DODY
Oh, it just happened, and it was my father.
AL
I'm sorry, Dod. I love him, Dod.
DODY
How long has it been?
AL
It's been a while.
DODY
How long is awhile?
AL
I...I...don't remember.
DODY
One month? Two months?
AL
Three, K!
DODY
I see.
AL
Sorry...
DODY
Oh, I'm sorry for you too. I'm sorry because you’re having an affair with my father!
(switch the tone of voice)
Ah. You bleeding.
She walks out of the spotlight. Shortly she returns with a first aid kit.
DODY
Let me clean your wound. I’m so sorry honey.
DODY
Stay calm. You're gonna be OK.
She cleans his wound with an alcohol pad.
AL
Ouch! It stings!
DODY
Just calm down, K. I know it hurts.
AL
Ow! Ow! Ow!!!
DODY
I'm sorry darling.
She thoroughly cleans his wound.
DODY
Now it's nice and clean. You should feel better.
Neatly she places everything back into the first aid kit.
DODY
Sit still. I'll be right back.
Dody walks out of the spotlight again.
Shortly, she returns with a MEDICAL TAPE and a HAIRCUT KIT.
AL
Dod, what are you doing?
DODY
Shhhh...
DODY pulls his head against the headrest from which she tapes his head onto it.
AL
Dod, what are you doing to me?
DODY
Quiet. I'm taking care of your wound.
AL
Dod. Please don't hurt me.
DODY
Don't worry, you won't feel a thing.
She begins to shave his head but spares the wounded area, which is around two inches in diameter like a small island on his head.
DODY
See. It wouldn't hurt a thing.
AL
Now what?
(pause)
Would you let me go?
DODY
Be still, would you? Let me take care of it.
AL
You can have everything, including my Porche that you always want.
(tears and snot)
Please Dod let me go.
After she is done shaving, she points a MIRROR.
DODY
How does it look?
AL
(face in the mirror)
What? Oh my god... What are you doing to me? What are you doing to me?
She puts the mirror away and puts on a pair of medical gloves.
DODY
Now... It's... show time!
Al fainted. Dody gently slaps his face.
DODY
Hey, wake up. Don't sleep on duty, will you?
He regains his consciousness.
AL
Oh, Dody. I said I was sorry.
DODY
Silence! I am taking care of your wound. Aren’t you feeling it?
AL
I'm sorry. I am.
DODY
Don't be, 'cause I'm gonna have your...
A long pause. She precisely inserts a SURGICAL BLADE through his skull, tracing it like an island.
She gently yanks it until the cap comes off.
DODY
See, told you. You wouldn't feel a thing.
Staring at the open.
DODY
Oh, it looks so (French accent) deli...ci...ouhh...
AL
Dody, please let me go.
DODY
I'm not done yet.
AL
What are you doing to me?
DODY
I'll be right back.
Dody leaves for the kitchen. She shortly returns with a tray on which are a few slices of lemon, a bottle of salt, and black pepper.
AL
Dod, honey. (desperately)
DODY
Shh...
AL
Please...
DODY
You know what am I doing to you?
AL
Please, honey...
DODY
I'm gonna have your... hummmmmm...brain for lunch. Bitch!
AL
No! No! No! No!
She scoops a baby scoopful of his brain like a spoonful of rice pudding. She squeezes a few drops of lemon; then applies salt and pepper onto it.
DODY
(whisper in French)
Bon appetite...a moi!
She slowly feeds it into her mouth and closes her eyes as if she immensely enjoys it.
DODY
Hummmmm... so good...
The spotlight slowly dims... to pitch-black.